Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
