I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
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I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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