You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
