GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
