hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
