i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
