just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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