my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
