I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
