There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
