I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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