I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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