Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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