Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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