she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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