My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
