i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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