I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
ok first of all what the fuck
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
