Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
