I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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