I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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