3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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