So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
