Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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