I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
