just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
