Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize