but the lizard people decide everything anyway
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
