the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
two words: eviction party
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
