Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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