He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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