Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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