I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
