Buhtt sex?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize