nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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