why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
