Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Randomize
