I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
