I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
