I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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