I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
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The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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