How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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