maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
