I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
