I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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