Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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