is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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