The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
