This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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