So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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