Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
