I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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