He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm both gender and math confused
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