If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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