i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize