No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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