she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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