My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
