Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
